Category Archives: comedy

Lucifer’s Love Child on the Radio!

With the March 15th  return to the stage for Lucifer’s Love Child approaching like a speeding train, our manager, Rupert, has the band doing the rounds for media promotion.

Yesterday we were in the delightful studios at Penistone FM for a chat with David Higgins

Take a listen to us below…. it includes me doing the weather!

Get your tickets here!

On Stage – The Boys Are Back Int’ Tarn

Greetings!

Just wanted to take a break from learning lines and let you know I’ll be on stage March 15th, in a new play, The Boys Are Back Int’ Tarn, written by local legends Lee Pollard and Paul Athorne.

Lucifer’s Love Child are back!

30 years after they last performed together, Yorkshire based rockers: Jimmy, Malc, Briggsy and Gordon are planning a new album and world tour.

After their 1980 s hit single “You Make it Hard to Love You” was used in a popular Viagra commercial, the band have attracted a new generation of fans. All they must do now to enjoy their second chance at fame is set aside dodgy prostates, chiropodist’s appointments and even an adopted Gorilla and they’re on their way.

Join us as the band return to the recording studio accompanied by their long-time manager Rupert and Thomas, the mysterious new sound engineer. What could
possibly go wrong?

It’s ONE NIGHT ONLY, Friday 15th March. 7.30 pm, at the PENISTONE PARAMOUNT  – Tickets £14.

GET YOUR TICKETS HERE

I’m playing Rock God, ace axeman BRIGGSY!

It’s a great cast, and we are having lots of fun bringing these rockers to life, so grab a ticket, get out your old Rock T-Shirts, and come along for the ride.

Ian McKellan’s Voice!

A couple of weeks ago, whilst learning some song lyrics, I found myself speaking them in the voice of Sir Ian McKellan.

Now Sir Ian is trapped in my vocal chords. Along with Sir Patrick Stewart. And don’t even mention Brian Blessed…. Surely the work of a very powerful wizard!

I need voice work, NOW!

If anyone wants a personalised message in the style of Sir Ian, let me know!

Too long without an update!

Crikey, it’s March and my last update was back in August last year.
My apologies dear reader. It’s sort of a mix of there being no news, and too much news, so I will try and update a bit. So – Work first – then my life….

WORK

The Ratcatcher

Winter is generally a quiet time in my line of work, as TV and Film tends to wind down a bit.
I did some theatre in September, with Dead Earnest Theatre, in a production of The Ratcatcher, part of the Festival Of The Mind in the Spiegeltent in the centre of Sheffield.

I’ve done some voice work too, on a wonderful series for Vanitas Arts, a new jazz based audio drama series titled Persons of Interest – four audio drama podcasts based on the lives of prominent jazz artists who are Black and Queer: Gladys Bentley, Josephine Baker, Ken Snakehips Johnson and Ada Bricktop Smith. You can listen to these as they’re released here, or through your favourite Podcast sources.

Reading my script

My voice has also featured on a new story on the Geostories App: Freyda Skald of Jorvik. 

The Jorvik GeoStory is about magic, myth and mystery as a young woman’s life is transformed after an encounter with a legendary Viking Seeress, Gudrun. Developed in partnership with The Jorvik Viking Centre and supported by Arts Council England, the story begins in Coppergate, York.

Launched at the 2023 JORVIK VIKING FESTIVAL in February, it features Augmented Reality images that come to life as you are transported back to Jorvik in the Year 960 and into magical Viking Realms.

Freyda Skald of Jorvik is free to listen to and can be accessed in the GeoStories Library by downloading the GeoStories app on the App Store and Google Play or by scanning the QR Code on the flyer below.


LIFE & LOVE

2022 ended wonderfully. I met an amazing woman.

Just when you feel like there is no one out there for you, that you should just maybe give up on the idea of romance. That a hand blindly fishing around in the Quality Street tin for a wrapped chocolate may be the most exciting thing to happen over Christmas.

Beverley is much nicer than a Quality Street Strawberry Cream or a Purple One.
She’s an author, writer, coach, entrepreneur, single mum, and much, much more – and things are quite lovely. We laugh, sing, cuddle, and kiss a lot.
You can find her here or at The Writers Workshop.
Or read her latest Grief blog update here – Swimming Through Clouds: A journey of love and loss. I am mentioned in the latest update.

The Writers Workshop is an amazing resource for you writers out there, with workshops, motivation sessions, mentoring, live events, retreats, masterclasses, and much more.
It’s very affordable, and the sessions are either in person or online. Take a look

New Year’s Eve at Dorothy Pax with Beverley
Bridlington with Beverley

Inspired by being with this amazing Writer Woman, I have started writing more myself, and I’ve even dug out some older pieces to tinker with. I will share some of my new stuff at the end of this update.


BIRTHDAY

My birthday arrived in January. It wasn’t unexpected of course.

I decided on a trip to Edinburgh for my birthday treat, as I’d never visited before.

Edinburgh Castle

So it was the Castle, Royal Mile, Haggis Neeps and Tatties, Deep Fried Mars Bars, and a walk up Arthur’s Seat.

And I slipped walking back down from Arthur’s seat, hurting my own seat, a bang on the Coccyx. It’s still painful now.

Arthur’s Seat

VISITORS
My Brother John and his daughter Modena visited from Canada in January. Our birthday’s are 4 years and a day apart. So it was lovely to catch up, have family time, and a drink or two with old friends.

Modena, Mum, John and myself.
With John
Me, Linda, Simon, John and Kim. The Lord Nelson, Arundel St, Sheffield.
A pint in the Lord Nelson

COVID HITS
Damn! After avoiding the lurgy since the very beginning, Covid hit the house at the end of January.
Mum and I are both fully vaccinated, so it could have been worse.
I was pretty miserable with it for a few days, but bounced back.
Mum is 90, so it has hit her harder. Though now testing negative, she has ended up in hospital, but we hope she will be home again soon. Keep everything crossed.


WRITING

As I mentioned, Beverley has inspired me to write more. And to be public about it.
So here’s a couple of recent pieces.

BIN DAY
Bins

It’s bin day
Wind day
Bins blown over everywhere
Regardless of colour
Black, brown, blue
On it’s side, lid flapping like a puppet mouth
Spewing garbage like a politician
Pizza crusts
Used wipes
Eeeeuw I don’t even know what that is
But it’s not nice
Dogs try to sniff. No!
Home we rush with chilled ears through streets awash with flotsam and jetsam
Bin day
Wind day

It’s Bin Day again
Wind day again
Blue Bins put out to stand street-side
Like Bobbies in a row
Guarding our road like sentry’s on duty
But blue bins are slender
Thinner than Grey and Brown
And with contents of cardboard and paper
There’s no weight to hold it down
So blue bins blow, off they go
Like drunken revellers
Until they trip off the kerb
And they’re down, rolling around, regurgitating contents
Prescription copies, old bills, egg boxes, dozens of Amazon cardboard envelopes, pizza boxes, cardboard sleeves off yogurt containers, magazines, newspapers
Almost no bins left to empty now
Contents blow freely
Twisting and turning
Escaping down the road
Hiding in gardens and under cars
Bin lorry comes, empties the few still standing, then blue bins left on the pavement
Empty now, lighter and giddy, they wheel around
Throwing themselves down once more
They roll around like pigs in muck
It’s bin day again
Wind day again


A man down the road has a DeLorean.
DeLorean

A man down the road has a DeLorean.
Yes, that sporty stainless steel car made famous in the Back to the Future franchise.
On our road. Just parked there on the street. Under a tree.
Hardly ever moves it, it sits there, falling blossoms gathering at the base of the windscreen.
Which must block his air intakes because he often puts a sheet of plastic over the air vents in autumn.
That fancy rear cover over the engine compartment. Tied down with a length of tatty rope.
And what of the owner?
No Marty McFly or Doc Brown here.
A mild mannered chap, dresses conservatively, slacks and sweaters. Silver framed glasses, greying blonde hair parted to one side.
His other car, his daily drive, parked behind the DMC – a silver Ford Focus.
Seen him in the paper shop. Buys two loaves. Appears to be single. And heard Linda in the shop ask about his mother.
So why? Why a DeLorean? The dream car of the 80’s, sitting outside a Sheffield semi?
He hardly ever moves it. If he does then it’s MOT time, though he did park it around the corner for a few days when they repaved the street.
I often stand beside it when I’m walking the dogs. They seem to have a fascination with it, they sniff the alloy rims and custom rubber tyres. Where has it been to gather smells so interesting to canine olfactory organs?
Then, this morning, walking back from the paper shop, the rumble of an engine.
Not a normal rumble.
He’s sat in the drivers seat – on the left of course, it’s American – giving it an occasional monthly turnover to keep it running, circulate the juices that keep the beast alive.
Or is he?
Is there more to Mr Normal. Is he actually from the future? Holding out on Holdings Rd, keeping watch over the steel city, his DeLorean the Time Machine that brought him here, and his lifeboat to return him home.
Are those “sitting there running the engine” times really to keep it roadworthy?
Or perhaps he’s generating some time clock energy, rewinding us all to correct something that shouldn’t have happened.
But I still remember you. And what we said last night. That can’t be rewound by Mr Future.
So, we are good.
No objection raised by the Time Panel, no temporal anomaly created, we can go on.
And how can we say no to the future?


So, I think that’s just about all the interesting stuff.

There’s more of course, but my instagram and Twitter Feeds may fill in the gaps for you.

Wishing you all love, prosperity, and the fall of this evil Tory government.

D x

Spring is coming…\

Fri 4th Feb – Live Comedy On Stage + Streaming!

Ey up Cupcakes!!!!

We’re almost finished January, and about to blast into February with a LIVE show!
That’s real LIVE people performing in front of a real LIVE audience!!!!
But Fear Not! There’s a LIVE STREAMING option those who aren’t yet ready to mingle.

Rachel E Thorn, SKETCH UP writer

The show is SKETCH UP! Written by the FABULOUS Rachel E Thorn, the Queen of Improv, and Witty Skit Writer Extraordinaire.
Playing Friday Feb 4 at the Leicester Comedy Festival.

Rachel’s comedy has been heard on BBC Radio 4 and BBC Radio Scotland and performed by impressionists including Rory Bremner, Alistair McGowan and Christina Bianco. Rachel also performs improvised comedy shows nationwide and is the winner of The Phoenix Remix Act Of The Year 2019.

Rachel has put together a group of fun professional performers for her Sketch Up Crew, and at her cry of “SKETCH UP ASSEMBLE!” we all fall into place. We’ve been recording and performing Rach’s sketches for a few years now (except the last two obvs) and its brilliant fun – mainly because they’re so well written and full of wonderful characters we’d never get asked to play otherwise!

On stage for this performance, besides our Wonder Woman Rachel, we have Melanie Crawley, Gerard Fletcher, and myself.

Melanie Crawley

Melanie Crawley

A fabulous voiceover artist, having narrated over 40 audiobooks including An Unknown Woman by Jane Davis and The River Through Rome by Nicholas Nicastro. She is Joy in The Age of Love, the podcast based on artist Pete McKee’s characters, and starred in the UK tour of Tannie & Tannie.

Gerard Fletcher

Gerard Fletcher

One of the best voiceover actors in the business. My favourite facts are that he presents Screwfix’s YouTube channel and he’s the on-hold voice of DPD, The National Trust and Halfords!

TV includes SherwoodGet Even (BBC/Netflix – 5 EPs), Emmerdale, Happy Valley” and Girlfriends, where he and I first worked together, sharing a scene with Zoë Wanamaker and Miranda Richardson.

He has performed in radio dramas for BBC Radio 3, Radio 4 and Radio 4 Extra. His voice can be heard in ads on TV and most independent commercial radio stations worldwide and he’s narrated audio books and documentaries for BBC, ITV, Channel 5 Paramount and History Channel.


LIVE SHOW / LIVESTREAM • THE DETAILS

Date: Friday 4th Feb
Time:  8pm
Venue: The Big Difference, Leicester
Price: £8
Website: Leicester Comedy Festival
LIVESTREAM DETAILS :

 

Sketch Up at Leicester Comedy Festival is being live-streamed by Next Up on Friday 4th February at 8pm. It should also be available to watch on demand afterwards.
To watch, you’ll need a Next Up account, which is either £7 a month with no long-term commitment or £24 for a whole year’s subscription. This gives you access to a bajillion live comedy shows from the UK’s most famous comedians – and us too!
As the artist, we take 50% of the revenue generated by people watching our show.

Anyone who signs up for Sketch Up can watch Rachel’s dark comedy Sex, Lies & Improvisation on Friday 18th February at 9pm for no extra cost! Here’s the Link to sign-up!


IN OTHER NEWS….

I loved my couple of Corrie episodes, Jan 12 & 14, what a treat to work on those famous cobbles. Here’s a clip of my scenes – NOTE ***SPOILER ALERT***

Here’s hoping Corrie ask Gordon back for more! Maybe send them a tweet if you want to see him return?

AND FINALLY….

I’ve walked a lot throughout January – as part of the RUN THE MONTH Fundraiser for PROSTATE CANCER UK.

I covered 52.67 extra miles of brisk walking for the challenge, a double marathon.
My knees didn’t enjoy running, so I walked as fast as my legs would carry me.
And the good news? I raised £300 for Prostate Cancer UK.
My Fundraiser Page is still live, so please take a look if you would like to add a donation. And special thanks to all who have already given.

Right, this blog update, like the month of January, is almost done – Stay safe, stay warm, and hope to see you LIVE in Leicester, or streaming the show online!

D x

National Poetry Day, Oct 7 2021

Hi folks!!!

Long time no update, I can only apologise. Nothing too exciting has happened… then the last few weeks got busy, so there’s now stuff to share.

Today, Oct 7th, is NATIONAL POETRY DAY. And I am delighted to share a short film contribution that I was part of.

Simon James is a talented writer, director, and producer, and has released three short films for National Poetry Day, under the title Rhyme Down the Lens.

My Episode is titled Well-Behaved Webcam Girl.

ABOUT THE SERIES

Simon says… (on this page link)

“Each film is its own dramatic poem, performed by one talented actor down the camera lens. RDTL has a working-class flavour – poetry for anybody to enjoy. (I say ‘anybody’, but probably not kids – you’ve been warned…)

There are just two rules for a Rhyme Down the Lens production: It must rhyme, and it must be delivered (you guessed it), down the lens. This last point puts the viewer right in the middle of the action, being spoken to directly by the film’s lead. Whether they’re filling the shoes of a passenger on a bus, or taking the role of an online sex worker, the viewer is very much playing a character themselves. Tearing down the fourth wall brick by brick.

I hope Rhyme Down the Lens proves that anybody can follow (and enjoy) a poem. The amount of times you hear people say ‘I just don’t get poetry’… I’m not going to lie, a little part of me dies every time. If RDTL can change one person’s mind on this, I may have just written/directed something worthwhile…”

So, I hope you enjoy my piece, and the whole series, it’s great to be part of something that’s a very different sort of role for me.
Take a look at this  LINK TO ALL THREE EPISODES

OTHER NEWS…

I’m delighted to have worked on two TV projects over the last month – a daytime soap (a Christmas week episode), and 2 episodes of a new series to be released next year.
More on those next time.

Right then, that’s all for now. Remember, Covid is not over, despite our government moving on, so please stay safe.

Dave X

Greetings from the Frozen North! Warm up with Sketch Up!

Ey up from the Steel City!!! Hope you’re all doing okay, staying warm and staying safe.
I write this on the 39th day of Lockdown 3. It just goes on and on doesn’t it?

But, thankfully, I have something to tickle your funny bones on these cold nights.
I’m a member of Sketch Up! – a group of Actor’s, Writers and Voice Artists, that got together to record comedy sketches, directly from the mind and nimble fingers of Rachel E. Thorn

We were due to perform these LIVE!!! Yes, LIVE!!! with an audience, at the renowned Leicester Comedy Festival. But, alas, a Global Pandemic thwarted our bid for Global Sketch Comedy Stardom.
Live comedy’s loss is, however, your gain…
Thanks to the power of T’interwebs, you can enjoy our sketches in the comfort of your very own home/car/van/tent/workplace/ears…  via the Leicester Comedy Festival  – until Feb 21.
We’ve already had a 4-STAR REVIEW  (“a delight…with a bit of bite!”) and lots of lovely feedback which is great. Its free to listen (you bloody old misers) online – 45 comedy sketches – listen all in one go or individually.
They range from the surreal to the domestic and sometimes incorporate a bit of both but nowhere will you find even the vaguest reference to the dreaded pandemic!

Sketch Up! Comedy sketches written by Rachel E. Thorn, Produced by Gerard Fletcher & Melanie Crawley, Performed by Ali Mylon, Gerard Fletcher, Letty Butler, Melanie Crawley, myself, and Rachel E Thorn.

Here’s the Soundcloud link 

 

Happy Birthday Benjamin!

Last weekend was a happy/sad one… My eldest son Benjamin turned 19. He lives just outside Blackpool, and with Lockdowns and Tiers, etc, we haven’t seen each other in person since last August.
Sadly Benjamin, my daughter Sophie and my youngest son, Joseph, lost their mum, my ex-wife Jane, to Covid just before Christmas. It’s such a difficult time for everyone. And it’s really hard not seeing my children, when all I want to do is hug them.

I posted a link to my Ko-Fi account in case anyone wanted to send Benjamin a bit of birthday love. And many of you did, thank you so very much! It made his day!

Benjamin has now created his own Ko-Fi Page, so if you’d like to check it out and send him the price of a a coffee, cake, or even more, the link is here….

Buy a coffee for Benjamin McClelland
All contributions are very much appreciated.

 

Check out my Lockdown Logs

A reminder, I post daily Twitter and YouTube Lockdown Log updates, featuring 2 Minute 20 Second updates on the boring minutiae of my Lockdown life. Really selling that, aren’t I?
Here’s the YouTube Playlist…

Thanks for dropping by! Subscribe to this blog at the bottom of the page, or follow any/all of my socials, top of the right hand column!

Stay safe m’ducks!
Dave X

2021. New Year. New Lockdown.

My first update of 2021, and we find ourselves in a situation even more dire than December.

New strains, more cases, sadly many more deaths,. No going out, no physical contact, no idea when any degree of normality will return. Not this year I fear.

On today’s No 10 Briefing, featuring the very evil, and the letter G incapable, Home Secretary,  Priti Patel, a reporter asked the question – as people must be desperate for a holiday after all we’ve been through, can they think about booking a summer holiday?

BOOK A F**KING SUMMER HOLIDAY!!!! Are you mad?
Be grateful to still be breathing.
It will end when it ends, it will be safe when it is safe.
Remember that DISASTROUS “Eat Out To Help Out” cheap meal/mass-killing scheme.
Too early Rishi!

One good thing in the world is that that Orange Trump Stain has been removed! I watched the Biden/Harris Inauguration yesterday, hated much of the schmaltz and flag adoration, but loved Amanda Gorman and her wonderful poem – here’s Barack Obama’s link to it
One can only imagine the Big Orange Baby sulking in Florida.

Obviously life is quiet here. Good news is my Mum has had both Vaccine injections, so let’s hope she is safe(r). I await my turn.

Just before Christmas, I was lucky enough to have a small role in a TV ad, which is apparently airing so often that people keep telling me they saw me on the telly!

Here it is….

I’m happy to be working on an Audiobook narration at the moment, and loving the book. It’s called CRONIES, by Robert Craft.  I’ll let you know when the audiobook version is finished and available.

If you fancy a bit of Audio Fun, I am co-host of Write Radio (Comedy edition) on Sheffield Live. The Christmas Day show was a special one, where yer old pal Dave goes full on Scrooge, so take a listen – Go to the SHEFFIELD LIVE site, and click on Dec 25, Hour 1 and Hour 2.

And that’s about it. I carry on with my Daily Lockdown logs, recording the dull monotony of Lockdown 3. Posted on my Twitter and Playlisted on YouTube (and below).

Stay safe you Beauties, I look forward to lifting a glass with you some time in the future! Contact me via form below if you fancy a video catchup!

Dave X

 

 

Lockdown Log, Tiers, and Christmas…

Ey up!

I hope you’re all keeping well during these strange continuing times.

Last year I was in a play called The Sylvia Swing, a touching piece about loss and loneliness. Playwright Melanie Hopkins has adapted the stage version to be performed online, and it went live Friday night.

Take a look at the results below. A lovely piece – and feels apt for these times.

The Lockdown Log…

So, Lockdown 2 is over and we are now in Tier 3 (again) – or T3.2 as I think of it.

I spent Lockdown 1 doing a streaming chat show, Mockdown. The link takes you to a playlist of Mockdown episodes.

I passed the days of Lockdown 2 doing a daily log update with a max running time 2:20, so I could post to Twitter.

I’m keeping up with the Log now we’re in T3.2, hopefully through to Christmas at least. Link below is for the YouTube Playlist for the Nov/Dec videos… Take a look, I walk the dogs, eat breakfast, drink coffee and spend time at the computer…. Exciting times.

Stay safe – and call back again soon!

Dave X

 

Busy few weeks… Christmas Charity Song online now…

Excuse my absence from the blog folks, I’ve let my daily Lockdown Logs do the talking for me of late, but I do want to share something with you.

Weeks ago, between Lockdowns, I got together with my mates, Paul BALLO Ballington, and my fellow Yorkshire Teabagger John Atherley, to start work on a Christmas song.

During this last lockdown we’ve recorded it, made a video, and now released it just in time for the Festive Season.  And we’re using it to raise funds for Yorkshire Children’s Trust. 100% of the funds raised will go straight those who need it and what’s more, it’s serving families in this region! – To donate, click here – https://bit.ly/36plAaE

The Video is below – The single can also be downloaded on iTunes, Spotify and Amazon Music!

Here’s the Blurb for it..
The U.K’s favourite Singing Plumber, Paul BALLO Ballington always has an annual Christmas song available… But this year it’s something a bit special.
As the nation struggled through the Covid Pandemic, Paul joined up with his mates from “The Yorkshire Teabaggers,” John Atherley and Dave McClelland, to reassure families that Santa would still be calling on them this Christmas.
Recording a song, and shooting a video, isn’t easy when you can’t be in the same room as your bandmates, but the team used technology to put it all together remotely, and the final video is like joining a Zoom call with a bunch of Yorkshire mates. And even Santa himself joins in the call!
And it became a family affair with Paul’s daughter Lana, and John’s wife Maria joining in, along with a cameo from actor Andy Whitaker who plays Policeman PC Swirling on ITV Soap Emmerdale  (as Andy Moore) .
The lads wanted to help families who are struggling through the Covid Crisis – and the Yorkshire Children’s Trust seemed like the perfect partner to raise funds for. 100% of the funds raised will go straight those who need it and what’s more, it’s serving families in this region! – To donate, click here – https://bit.ly/36plAaE
The single can also be downloaded on iTunes, Spotify and Amazon Music!